How Important is Winning?
There’s no doubt that anyone serious about their sport loves to win. There’s no reason to expect otherwise when you enroll your daughter in a sport. That doesn’t mean you should teach your daughter that winning is everything or encourage that belief.
Winning is wonderful, don’t get me wrong. It feels great. But what we really need to encourage our young athletes to think about is whether they’ve worked hard at their sport.
That’s what will make them great at whatever they do, even if they don’t win.
This may seem like a “we’re all winners” kind of attitude, and I know that bothers some people. But I can admit that we aren’t all winners. We don’t all deserve trophies just for playing. That doesn’t mean all the hard work our daughters have put into their sport means nothing.
The focus should always be doing the best she can with her own skills. If it’s a team sport, that includes doing the best possible as a part of the team, not just an individual.
How to Maintain This Attitude?
It’s not easy to keep up the belief that winning isn’t everything if you’re surrounded by people who disagree. But if you don’t want your daughter caught up in the obsession, you’re going to have to do something about it.
This is easiest to start talking about at home, not around all the teammates. You should go at it from both sides, discussing the reasons why people are so concerned with winning and why there’s more to sports than just being the winner or the best on the team.
What About What She Hears from Others?
It’s not going to be easy to keep up this belief if coaches and other parents disagree with you. If possible, find a team and coach that believe as you do. It’s easiest to keep away from this kind of problem if you don’t start right out with them.
But if you’re stuck with it, try having a calm talk about why you prefer to encourage skills over winning. You aren’t going to win everyone over; don’t fool yourself about that. But you can try.
How vocally you can disagree depends on the situation you’re in. If you’re surrounded by parents and coaches obsessed with winning and winning only, speaking up is going to be more uncomfortable and possibly less productive.
Then again, you might find that some quietly agree with you.
However it goes, remember that even the most talented young athlete should not be overdoing it. It’s a path to potential lifelong injuries.
Tags: encouragement, priorities, skill, winning
